[Review] Cat's Eye

(Image Taken From: Movie Poster DB)

Title: Cat's Eye
Language: English
Genre: Horror
Year: 1985

Cat's Eye is a three part horror trilogy written by Stephen King that follows a cat that is trying to find a little girl (Drew Barrymore). In its search it comes across a man named Dick Morrison (James Woods) who finds that the company that he employed to help him quit smoking will go to extreme lengths to keep him off cigarettes and a mobster who makes a bet with his wife's lover's life.



Sometimes I have to walk away from a movie after watching it and take a breather before reviewing it. Cat's Eye was one of those movies that when the credits rolled I was mad. I was mad for wasting my time, for having this annoying uncontrollable need to finish a movie even if I hate it, and I was mad that this movie sucked so bad. Now, just as a disclaimer to the following rant: I like Stephen King. I think that he has some great books, he can make fairly good movies, and sometimes his books make good movies (by the way, Dreamcatcher are none of these). BUT... I'm pretty sure that Stephen King could wipe his ass with a roll of computer paper and it would become a number one seller, a movie, or both. I think that Stephen King does his worst work when he does screenplays for those three story movies (Quicksilver Highway, Creepshow 2, etc). These all usually involve black humor (which is a subtle art and Mr. King sucks at it) and they usually give the impression that he's scraping the bottom of the barrel. I think that this clip sums up most of Stephen King's work perfectly.



Now, let's take the focus off Stephen King for right now and focus on the story. Basically Cat's Eye is the equivalent of the kitten half time show during Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. You basically watch a cat run around for 60 minutes with several close up shots of its face. Spliced in between cat footage is James Woods, 30 minutes of a man scaling the outside perimeter of an condo building, and a ridiculous troll wearing a jester hat trying to pull off mime comedy. At the very least when I watch a movie from 1985 I want to see some amazingly bad 80's fashion and I want some heavily synthesized riffs. The ending theme Cat's Eye was pretty awesome and the pigeon is really what saved me from throwing myself out the window, but I was already too pissed off that I sat through this turd to enjoy either parts. And what is it about James Woods' face? I just cannot take him seriously.

I read some comments about how people are only rating Cat's Eye poorly because it's not a "horror" movie and Stephen King does other writing besides horror (to which they always support with Shawshank Redemption). Well I walked into this expecting an awesomely bad 80's movie (like Dolls) and instead I writhed on the couch in pain trying to pay attention to the screen. Here's what I mean:


WARNING: Contains Spoilers to the ending of Cat's Eye

This one was bad. Real bad. I would avoid this one at all costs.

1 Star